Subject: Church Bulletins

Church Bulletins:

Unintentionally humorous announcements, passages, blurbs or headlines that have appeared in various church bulletins or printed publications.

Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Church Bulletins

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Church Bulletins

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

Church Bulletins

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Church Bulletins

Mark your calendars not to attend the church retreat.

Church Bulletins

Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear

Church Bulletins

Janet Smith has volunteered to strip and refinish the communion table in the sanctuary.

Church Bulletins

If you want to be a superhero for God, you could wear a costume, or even nothing at all.

Church Bulletins

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

Church Bulletins

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.

Church Bulletins

Helpers are needed!  Please sign up on the information sheep.

Church Bulletins

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

Church Bulletins

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Church Bulletins

The sermon this morning: Contemporary Issues #3 … Euthanasia

Church Bulletins

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

Church Bulletins

It's Drug Awareness Week: Get involved in drugs before your children do.

Church Bulletins

If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the collection basket.

Church Bulletins

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

Church Bulletins

Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.

Church Bulletins

The Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Church Bulletins

In a show of near anonymity, the convention approved full communion with the Anglican Church of Canada.

Church Bulletins