Subject: Church Bulletins (Page 8)

We are accepting candy and individually wrapped monetary donations in the office.

Pastor says, ” Today’s sermon title is “The Seven Steps to Sex.”

Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.

Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.25. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

We are currently running short on mice pies for the church trip, and would be very pleased if you brought us some.

You’re invited to join the Sunset Club, our church seniors group. Activities include community singing, dancing, dramatic efforts, and table games. The group is composed solely of participanting members.

If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.

Missing — A purple lady's bicycle from the church parking lot.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

The sermon this morning: Women In the Church. The closing song: Rise Up, O Men of God

Internet Pornography Sessions Begin Wednesday.

Illiterate? Write to the church office for help.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy.”

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.

Mr. Bradford was elected and has accepted the office of head deacon. We could not get a better man.

The sermon this morning: Gossip… the Speaking of Evil. The closing song: I Love To Tell the Story

The scholarship committee is accepting applications for church members attending a Baptist affiliated college this fall. Applications and guidelines are available in the vestibule. The Appalachians should be submitted by July 1st.

The choir will meet at the Larsen home for fun and sinning.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.