Subject: Classifieds

Classifieds:

Usually unintentionally humorous classified ads, personal ads, notices or announcements as they appeared in various printed “Classified Ads” sections.

MATH-A-THON – Its As Easy As A-B-C…

Classifieds

HEY KIDS… Santa will be at Viking Liquor Sunday Nov. 26, 11 am–3 pm FREE PICTURES • VIKING LIQUOR • KIDS! Bring your pet!

Classifieds

AMERICAN FLAG – 60 stars. Pole included $100. Call…

Classifieds

Mature gentleman, 62, aged well, noble grey looks, fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society seeks… damn it, I have to pee again.

Classifieds

For Sale: Basketball Hoop and backboard. Only used for dunking kid brother.

Classifieds

MARCH MADNESS MOVE-IN DEAL! Move in by March 31st, pay no rent until April 1st!…

Classifieds

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Classifieds

Wanted – Director Of Advertsing [sic]

Classifieds

DOWNERS GRTOVE – Stonewall Ave. Sat 10/18 & Sun 10/19 9am – 5pm – Dead Peoples Old Stuff. Oak stenciled table, tools, medical aids, Whirlpool, wheelchair, casino items, beer signs, many collectibles.

Classifieds

March 8th – Hypnotist Frank Santos – Donation $10 – All you can eat – Bring your own food – Starts at 8pm…

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HELP WANTED – PlayStation Brand Ambassador

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Turkey Shoot Slated – The Malheur Gun Club will hold a turkey shoot Sunday at the Vale Airport… Winners will receive hams.

Classifieds

BAR & GRILL – Best Burger in Town – Where Quality & Freshness Counts! FREE TOMATO w/every BLT…

Classifieds

FAMILY SEEKING energetic, young woman. Dedicated, responsible, family oriented, as permanent live-in provider, assistant, companion, concubine. Compensation negotiable.

Classifieds

1993 TOYOTA SUPRA TWIN TURBO AERO • TOP (G2), 1993 very rare, every toy, leather, mini disc, climate, traction, crise, 18in alloys, brand new tyres, priv/plate (SUP), 0-60 in 5, 160+ mph, awesome, girlfriend forgot to take pill, gutted. $14,000, (Bucks). Tel: …

Classifieds

If you have one of these symptoms, please call this 800 number – Death, Heartburn, …

Classifieds Health

Views plus spacious 1554 sq. ft. home with large lot, family room with fireplace, huge dick for entertaining? …

Classifieds

Chronically Overweight? 6 p.m. 522 N. Eighth St., Sheboygan… Bring your own chair. Free.

Classifieds

Looking for someone to do yard work. Must have hoolahoop.

Classifieds

Information – MENTALLY ILL NEEDED – To interview for Novel. Must be successful & interesting. Email: …@trsemail… (614) 537-….

Classifieds

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Classifieds