Subject: Classifieds

Classifieds:

Usually unintentionally humorous classified ads, personal ads, notices or announcements as they appeared in various printed “Classified Ads” sections.

Pennzoil/Quaker State OIL CHANGE – $12 plus oil & filter

Classifieds

Nordic track $300 – hardly used – call Chubby.

Classifieds

You’re all invited to Steak & Shrimp – Every Friday Night – 5:30 pm – 10 pm – Have Some Fun!! Bring A Gun!! Cash Can Be Won!! At Our Trap Range…

Classifieds

FREE TO GOOD COUNTRY HOME – ¾ Rottweiler, ¼ Shepherd, 3 years old, female, spayed, very intelligent, loves to eat live rabbits and kittens, loves to play ball with kids. Call after 5:00 pm.. (614)…

Classifieds

Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.

Classifieds

BOX OF Twinkies, 10 years old, two missing, rest have cream filling sucked out, $5. Call 217-….

Classifieds

RENTALS – HOUSING TWO BEDROOM, Sublease, nice area, BARGAIN Rent. Drawback: Big hairy spiders drop off bedroom ceiling at night.

Classifieds

FOR SALE: 1993 Chevy Lumina. Black exterior with beige interior. Runs and drives great. Sorry, no tires included.

Classifieds

Can’t move or speak? It may be a STROKE. No one is too young. Time lost is brain lost. CALL 911

Classifieds

HAVE YOU SEEN OUR COW? Female, Black with white face. Red tag in her ear. She was last seen on County Rd. 45. Please call Ann Smith at…

Classifieds

A-Whole Chiropractic • Body Injury Experts • Auto/Work Accidents…

Classifieds

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

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internet dates? – these are insane computer time’s we live in – wow. But how can you trust all of these e-men – it is just not safe – i am 100% real and –did not ever go to jail –Talk to me on the phone –i shook barack obama’s hand on two occasions – i know 15 guitar chords –I have a big tv with blue ray’s – I AM A REGULAR GUY SEEKING A REGULAR GAL – if you like eating tacko’s and you like to watch cartoons and movies and you have large breasts we will get along very well so please ring me up: …

Classifieds

Lost – Donkey, wearing a pink halter, Monterey Center – 269-793-….

Classifieds

GE – Working electric self-cleaning oven/stove, $150, needs good cleaning.

Classifieds

Wanted: Preparer of food. Must like the food business, be dependable, and be willing to get hands dirty.

Classifieds

FOR SALE: Cemetery needs. Monuments, Sales, Dating, Letterings. Call Dennis Leibfried before you go. Ph.507…

Classifieds

06’ Suzuki GSXR 1000 • Fourways, Johannesburg – This bike is perfect! Only done 7000 kms and has had its 1500 km. dealer service. No falls/scratches. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I’m selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently “do whatever the f**k you want” doesn’t mean what I thought. Call me, Steve. (011) 867-….

Classifieds

HELP WANTED – PLUMMER/ELECTRICIAN [sic]

Classifieds

These items may or may not be available at all times, and sometimes not at all and other times all the time.

Classifieds

PENIS ENLARGEMENT – Viagra & Testosterone – Dr. Joel Kaplan’s FDA Cleeard Medical Vaccuum Pumps. Gain 103 inches Safe and Permanent. Call… [sic]

Classifieds