Subject: Classifieds (Page 13)

Romance is dead. So is my mother. Man, 42, inherited wealth.

Classifieds

WANTED: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.

Classifieds

ATTENTION HOUSEWIVES IN WARREN COUNTY OR THE STATE OF OHIO: If your husband or varmint that you live with has bragged about getting a FREE CHRISTMAS TREE, it may be stolen.

Classifieds

HAMSTERS free. Call Allen’s Mom … HAMSTERS $1.00 each. Call Allen …

Classifieds

Foot tasting, [sic] arranged through the courtesy of Marks & Spencers and Safeway, gives customers a rare chance to try some of those more exotic flavors.

Classifieds

For Sale: Black Tuxedo only worn once and now divorced.

Classifieds

$5.95 -or- $15/mo.

Classifieds

How to Speak and Write Like A Colleg [sic] Graduate

Classifieds

SPANISH TOOTER NEEDED FOR A 7 year old student, learn to speak and write fluently. Call after 6 pm. 467-….

Classifieds

May 30 has been designated the Memorial Day holiday. There will be no sanitation on that day.

Classifieds

’06 Frod Focus $9,999

Classifieds

All Remaining Furniture 1/2 Price to 50% Off – Storewide!

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Bald, fat, short, and ugly male, 53, seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite.

Classifieds

Orange, missing since 21st in Lakewood, $25 reward

Classifieds

Lustful? Sinful? Sexual? These are all words not used in conjunction with my feeble, limp form for at least 32 years. You are a woman to 40 with high class looks and low class mind. I am an ever growing vessel of limp wristed sexual energy just waiting to be shook. You may call me sir. box no. 32/02

Classifieds

COLD-A-SACK SALE on Lorine Ln. 5 family yard sales. Sat. 8-? Follow signs off 467 & Good Luck Rd. – Baby up to plus size clothing, furn., tools, & X-mas.

Classifieds

SURGEON WANTED for a new health clinic opening in the area. No experience needed. Must have own tools.

Classifieds

LOST – WEDDING RING, men’s, Hooters’s parking lot, 6/27, Reward! Call…

Classifieds

Free Yorkshire terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.

Classifieds

TAG Heuer mens watch with bright yellow dial, it's not gay its European $99. 714-997-….

Classifieds

Only quiet living people need apply.

Classifieds