Subject: Classifieds (Page 15)

Seekers of Silence – Contemplative Saturday morning, “Rediscovering the Value and Joy of Fasting,” 8:30–noon. Feb. 14th, John XXIII University Parish… Bring lunch

XXLarge Nursing Uniform, Never been washed.

Looking for a small “13 inch” male registered Beagle to breed with our little girl. Call 862-….

Potty Chair, solid oak, light brown stain. $20

FOR SALE. Three canaries of undermined sex.

List Price $6.00 / AMS Price $63.95 / You Save 965.83%

FOUND: dirty white dog…looks like a rat…been out awhile…better be reward.

Nordic track $300 – hardly used – call Chubby.

Cows, calves never bred… also 1 gay bull for sale.

Free Mammograms at Chevron Station…

BOX OF Twinkies, 10 years old, two missing, rest have cream filling sucked out, $5. Call 217-….

Square coffee table 53” Long X 21” Wide with storage, $80. 453-….

Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour.

Car Sitting Services: Are you going away for a long trip? Are you afraid your car will be lonely, or worse yet, stolen!? I can protect your car and take it for long drives to keep it company. I can even drop you off and pick you up at the airport using your car (at my convenience)! Cheap rates! Call [telephone] and ask for One-tooth Tony.

$17,962 – ’98 Lincolon Town Car

Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

Is your memory letting you down? And what about your memory? Is it letting you down? Call for information pack right now. Before you forget. 079…

Ensure your next erection is in safe hands.

MATH-A-THON – Its As Easy As A-B-C…

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

My name was printed incorrectly below my letter in the December 30 issue of the Sevenoaks Chronicle. It should read L P Pook, not L P Hook. (signed) L P Hook – Sevenoaks Chronicle