Subject: Classifieds (Page 17)

The One Gallon Hip Flask…

1 man, 7 woman hot tub – $850/offer

Christmas Sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.

Cute kitten for sale. Two cents or best offer.

FOR SALE: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) – $50

Correction – A headline on an item in the Feb. 5 edition of the Enquirer-Bulletin incorrectly state “ Stolen groceries.” It should have read “Homicide.”

FOR SALE: 1993 Chevy Lumina. Black exterior with beige interior. Runs and drives great. Sorry, no tires included.

VIBRATOR, used twice, great condition. $10. Ryan 504-…. from 8–4 pm

Wanted: Satellite Installer

HELP WANTED – Eyebrow Threading

HELP WANTED – PLUMMER/ELECTRICIAN [sic]

MATH TUDAR NEEDED for Intermediate Algebra, needed ASAP! Call…

It’s Summertime! – Bring Your Children to the: Garma Specialty Clinic for Circumcision – Adult and Children – Painless, Bloodless…

My name was printed incorrectly below my letter in the December 30 issue of the Sevenoaks Chronicle. It should read L P Pook, not L P Hook. (signed) L P Hook – Sevenoaks Chronicle

WANTED – Workaholic for special department, all shifts. Highly reliable – no vacation or sick leave. Must be flexible, intelligent and friendly.

Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months.

This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.

FREE – GENUINE faux 9 CARAT SAPPHIRE PENDANT…

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Blah blah, whatever. Indifferent woman. Go ahead and write. Box ### Like I care.

Ground beast: 99 cents lb.