Subject: Classifieds (Page 20)

I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at box no. 6831. Man

Classifieds

Soccer ball signed by either Pele, the former Brazilian soccer player widely renowned by most experts and fans to be the finest player that has ever existed, or by some guy named “Peter.” $75.

Classifieds

Are all on-line realtors created equal? No, there's only one!

Classifieds

Three black convicts, healthy and well behaved, need good home, pkg deal. 608-427-….

Classifieds

Free inside mini golf. Call ahead, because play is canceled if there is any funeral work. “We want folks to know we’re not so scary” we’re people. A funeral parlor is not a dark place, but a safe and secure one…

Classifieds

Artie's Restaurant and Yogurt Parlor – An Alternative to Good Eating.

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Mercury Fish & Chips

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HANDSOME RAKE – Out of work leaf raker/bagger seeks whimsical beauty with unkempt auburn orc hestnut hair, cool with coarse hands and a penchant for whistling. mellow… mo, 28, …

Classifieds

HELP WANTED – Remedy Engineer

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Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

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FREE – GENUINE faux 9 CARAT SAPPHIRE PENDANT…

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List your ten favourite albums… I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up. Practical, forward thinking man, 35.

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FOR SALE – Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

Classifieds

Will the person who got hit in the head with a tomato in the 1950’s please contact (414) 453…

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HAVE YOU SEEN OUR COW? Female, Black with white face. Red tag in her ear. She was last seen on County Rd. 45. Please call Ann Smith at…

Classifieds

Finally – a calculator that has no equal.

Classifieds

PENIS ENLARGEMENT – Viagra & Testosterone – Dr. Joel Kaplan’s FDA Cleeard Medical Vaccuum Pumps. Gain 103 inches Safe and Permanent. Call… [sic]

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For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

Classifieds

Bald, fat, short, and ugly male, 53, seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite.

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Now I know what to do the next time my patents die… – If you are inheriting someone’s IRA/401K/TSP or Annuity…

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internet dates? – these are insane computer time’s we live in – wow. But how can you trust all of these e-men – it is just not safe – i am 100% real and –did not ever go to jail –Talk to me on the phone –i shook barack obama’s hand on two occasions – i know 15 guitar chords –I have a big tv with blue ray’s – I AM A REGULAR GUY SEEKING A REGULAR GAL – if you like eating tacko’s and you like to watch cartoons and movies and you have large breasts we will get along very well so please ring me up: …

Classifieds