Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Classifieds
(Page 24)
WARNING Don’t Pay High Prices For Central Air Conditioning! Only $5,500,000 and one or two days is all it takes to install top quality LENNOX Central Air in your 3 bedroom raised ranch…
Classified ad
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Kellogg’s pot tarts $1.99 box
For sale
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ATTORNEY WANTED that is not a liar or a thief. Phone…
Classified ad
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SEE-THRU WINDOWS – Your Quality Windows & Door Experts – It’s time to replace those drafty, energy-wasting windows & doors…
For sale
Classifieds
TAG Heuer mens watch with bright yellow dial, it's not gay its European $99. 714-997-….
For sale
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FOR SALE: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) – $50
For sale
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Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.
Help wanted
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Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Call…
For sale
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Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.
Classified ad
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Potty Chair, solid oak, light brown stain. $20
For sale
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WANTED: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
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ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS TREE – For Sale. Like new. Needs stand, ornaments, lights, and branches. $99.00 firm. Call…
For sale
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’06 Frod Focus $9,999
For sale
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Used car ad
Buy a 3-Piece Livingroom Set – Get a 3-Piece Glass and Brass End Table…
For sale
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The Brandywine Gourmet – Stop in to enter drawing to guess height & weight of our GIANT 3 ft., 20 lb. Chocolate Bunny!…
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QUESTION OF THE DAY – Question: What constitutes a millionaire? • Answer: A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of investments at AG Edwards and Sons.
Classified ad
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Cure Sleepiness Right Away – Time for Use: Long-Distance Driving, Drunk Driving, Night Driving…
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List Price $6.00 / AMS Price $63.95 / You Save 965.83%
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WANTED: Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
Classified ad
Classifieds
I'm just a girl who can't say 'no' (or 'anaesthetist') [sic]. Lisping Rodgers and Hammerstein fan, female lecturer in politics (37) WLTM man to 40 for thome enthanted eveningth.
Personal ad
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HAMSTERS free. Call Allen’s Mom … HAMSTERS $1.00 each. Call Allen …
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