Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Classifieds
(Page 25)
FREE TO GOOD HOME – Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten — orange & caramel tabby, playful, friendly very affectionate, ideal for family w/ kids. OR Handsome 32 yr. old husband – personable, funny, good job, but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Call Jennifer 265-…. — come see both and decide which you'd like.
Classified ad
Animals
Cats
Classifieds
Husbands
Marriage
You're a brunette, 6', long legs, 25-30, intelligent, articulate and drop dead gorgeous. I, on the other hand, have the looks of Herve Villechaize and an odour of wheat. No returns and no refunds at box no. 3321.
Personal ad
Classifieds
WARNING Don’t Pay High Prices For Central Air Conditioning! Only $5,500,000 and one or two days is all it takes to install top quality LENNOX Central Air in your 3 bedroom raised ranch…
Classified ad
Classifieds
Silk? Tweed? Hopsack? Worsted? No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
Classified ad
Classifieds
In a Ohio newspaper
Sick of your: Job-Boss-Paycheck-Life? My Business Is Growing To Fast!!!! [sic] $800-4000/mo. Part-Time work at home – work at the office – just work no age limit – no experience – just cash!!! CALL 504-6367 TODAY
Help wanted
Classifieds
?
IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! Anyone who has had a bone scan within the last 5 years where your knees have been strapped to your crotch with a 6” belt, please call (815) 522-….
Classified ad
Classifieds
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Classified ad
Classifieds
FOR SALE: Doctor’s sailing dinghy and accessories. Doctor no further use.
For sale
Classifieds
Sinister-looking man with a face that only a mother would love: think of an ageing Portillo with a beard and you have my better-looking twin. Sweetie at heart, though. Nice conversation, great for dimly-lit romantic meals. Better in those Welsh villages where the electricity supply can't be guaranteed. Charitable women to 50 appreciated. Box…
Personal ad
Classifieds
From Craig’s List
WANTED: Used Paint
Classified ad
Classifieds
WANTED: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.
Help wanted
Classifieds
This going-out-of-business sale is for a limited time only.
Classified ad
Classifieds
MANAGEMENT POSITIONS AVAILABLE – Contact Tony – Vacation, uniforms, meals and possible salary – McDonald’s
Classified ad
Classifieds
Allan’s Aquarium & Pet Center – After-Easter Tarantulas – The Gift for the Person Who Has Everything…
Classified ad
Classifieds
92’ BLK VOLKSWAGON CABRIOLET Answers to the name April. Last seen in Towson near the YMCA. Yes, Owner is Blonde. If found please call Button…
Classified ad
Classifieds
Tooth Whitening – For Any One Getting Married We Offer Nitrous Oxide Sedation – Call us today for details…
Classified ad
Classifieds
Caffe Allegro – In downtown Middletown –Discover why so many Italians would prefer to eat at home
Classified ad
Classifieds
SECRETARY – needed for quick lube. 6 Days. Call… Stuyvesant Ave, Union, NJ.
Classified ad
Classifieds
Love Your Pet? Then Send A Valentine Message. We’re publishing a very special collection of Valentine wishes for your pet on Wednesday, Februay 14…
Classified ad
Classifieds
Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds.
Personal ad
Classifieds
All positions are open until filled.
Help wanted
Classifieds
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