Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Classifieds
(Page 5)
Turkey Shoot Slated – The Malheur Gun Club will hold a turkey shoot Sunday at the Vale Airport… Winners will receive hams.
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All day starting at 1 PM. – Shuck N' Jive's Annual Crawfish Boil
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Washing machine: free to good home.
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Free 1 can of pork & beans w/ purchase of 3BR 2 bath home.
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Classifieds
SEE-THRU WINDOWS – Your Quality Windows & Door Experts – It’s time to replace those drafty, energy-wasting windows & doors…
For sale
Classifieds
ATTORNEY WANTED that is not a liar or a thief. Phone…
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Classifieds
GE – Working electric self-cleaning oven/stove, $150, needs good cleaning.
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Are all on-line realtors created equal? No, there's only one!
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We build bodies that last a lifetime.
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Singer/lyricist looking for untalented musicians to form punk band. Call… & ask for Adam.
Help wanted
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Lost Cocktail.
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A Race to Savings! – with Thank You Card – $119 – without card $2.39
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Grocery store promotion
It’s Summertime! – Bring Your Children to the: Garma Specialty Clinic for Circumcision – Adult and Children – Painless, Bloodless…
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Hummels – largest selection ever – "If it's in stock, we have it!"
For sale
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Lost: Search & Rescue Dog – From 13th and Peoria area. Sunday, May…
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WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box ###, Oakview, CA 93022. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
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Classifieds
RENTALS – HOUSING TWO BEDROOM, Sublease, nice area, BARGAIN Rent. Drawback: Big hairy spiders drop off bedroom ceiling at night.
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Classifieds
If You Had No Idea What To Get Her For Valentine’s Day… Imagine How Overwhelming Arranging Her Funeral Would Be. Give her the perfect gift, make pre-arrangements as a couple with the affordable funeral home. Choose from affordable funeral services or affordable cremations. Compassion is our passion…
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WANTED: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
Help wanted
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DOWNERS GRTOVE – Stonewall Ave. Sat 10/18 & Sun 10/19 9am – 5pm – Dead Peoples Old Stuff. Oak stenciled table, tools, medical aids, Whirlpool, wheelchair, casino items, beer signs, many collectibles.
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BAR & GRILL – Best Burger in Town – Where Quality & Freshness Counts! FREE TOMATO w/every BLT…
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