Subject: Classifieds (Page 5)

Smile of the Week • I’m smiling because “I am going to buy some sheep.” Sonny Clements, Manzanola

Classifieds

Not everyone appearing in this column is a deranged cross-dressing sociopath. Let me know if you find one and I'll strangle him with my bra. Man, 56.

Classifieds

Lost – Donkey, wearing a pink halter, Monterey Center – 269-793-….

Classifieds

CLASSIFIED: An unexpected vacancy for a knife-thrower's assistant. Rehearsals start immediately.

Classifieds

Educational – Readin Specialist/ – Requires MT teaching certificate, with a reading endorsement (Master’s level candidates

Classifieds

At the Frederick Fairgrounds – German Bands – Petting Zoo – Mini Race Cars – Have a Horse sit on your lap! …

Classifieds

Wanted: Lifeguard. Must be able to swim.

Classifieds

Free Puppies: part German shepherd, part stupid dog.

Animals Classifieds Dogs

All day starting at 1 PM. – Shuck N' Jive's Annual Crawfish Boil

Classifieds

We need a smart or more person to help us with our Company. Posting ##

Classifieds

HELP WANTED – PlayStation Brand Ambassador

Classifieds

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Classifieds

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Classifieds

YOUTH PROGRAMS • GENERAL/SOCIAL – Skydiving for Tots – (ages 10 mos.–2 years) Introduce your toddler to the fun and thrill of skydiving before he or she develops unwarranted fears of freefalling. Certified jump instructor…

Classifieds

I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at box no. 6831. Man

Classifieds

PET DOOR; 8 ft. tall, never used, $80.00, 358-….

Classifieds

FOR SALE BY OWNER – Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.$1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

Classifieds

Fully cooked boneless smoked man $2.09 lb.

Classifieds

COUPON – Mighty Dog dog Coffee– 2 cans $1…

Classifieds

It Takes Many Ingredients to Make Burger King Great But… “The Secret Ingredient is our People”

Classifieds

EVANGELIST: ROGER HILLIS • Morning Service 10:30 a.m. – “Preparing For Marriage” • Evening service 6:00 p.m. – “A Look At Hell”

Classifieds