Subject: Classifieds (Page 9)

CHRISTIAN woman looking for Christian man partner who is sympathetic with woman who has mental illness and hears voices but is self controlled. Phone…

Classifieds

My other car is a bike. Eco-friendly bio-diverse M (29). Smells a bit like soil and eats too much soup, but otherwise friendly (you're not seriously going to put that burger in your mouth, are you?).

Classifieds

ETERNAL ASCENT – sends cremated remains to the heavens in a special balloon. Let us help make your loved one’s final journey a memorable one. We also release pets. Call 800-808-….

Classifieds

Foot tasting, [sic] arranged through the courtesy of Marks & Spencers and Safeway, gives customers a rare chance to try some of those more exotic flavors.

Classifieds

Do Something Special For Your Valentine – Have your Septic Tank Pumped – Call…

Classifieds

LARGE REWARD: creamy white male puddle in Pasadena area in found Please Call…

Classifieds

Display PostScript running under the Windows windowing system demonstrates the ability to display OpenStep applications inside Windows windows, alongside native Windows applications. This seamless window system integration is a milestone in porting to Windows and demonstrates that OpenStep for Windows will be a good Windows citizen.

Classifieds

AMERICAN FLAG – 60 stars. Pole included $100. Call…

Classifieds

Selection As Big As The North Pole.

Classifieds

Best Selection Ever of Name Brand Tennis Shoes – 10% off any pair bought and get 2nd pair at 10% off and then take 1/2 price of that shoe. Higher price charged for 1st pair. – Marting’s Shoes

Classifieds

Wanted: Desk clerk and Housekeeping help at Best Western. PLEASE NO PHONE CALLS! (760) 375-2311.

Classifieds

Mature gentleman, 62, aged well, noble grey looks, fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society seeks… damn it, I have to pee again.

Classifieds

Wanted to buy: fishing net, must have no holes.

Classifieds

92’ BLK VOLKSWAGON CABRIOLET Answers to the name April. Last seen in Towson near the YMCA. Yes, Owner is Blonde. If found please call Button…

Classifieds

Ahigrim & Sons Lts. Funeral Parlor and Mini-Golf, 201 N. Northwest Hwy., Palatine, (847) 358-….

Classifieds

This ad may not be the best lonely heart in the world, nor its author the best-smelling. That's all I have to say. Man, 37.

Classifieds

$5 – Lubriderm lotion – scented or seriously scented 10 oz.

Classifieds

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Classifieds

Car Sitting Services: Are you going away for a long trip? Are you afraid your car will be lonely, or worse yet, stolen!? I can protect your car and take it for long drives to keep it company. I can even drop you off and pick you up at the airport using your car (at my convenience)! Cheap rates! Call [telephone] and ask for One-tooth Tony.

Classifieds

At the Frederick Fairgrounds – German Bands – Petting Zoo – Mini Race Cars – Have a Horse sit on your lap! …

Classifieds

FREE PUPPIES… part German shepherd, part dog

Classifieds