Subject: Communication » Language

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Whoever put the letter ‘b’ in the word ‘subtle’ deserves a pat on the back.

Communication Language

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

A cure for agoraphobics is just around the corner.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Health Language

I think it would be really confusing if you’re performing an abortion and somebody runs in and says, “Abort! Abort!”

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language Situations

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

About sentence fragments.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Poets are literal-minded men who will squeeze a word till it hurts.

(1892 – 1982) American writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

She was a bilingual illiterate… she couldn't read in two different languages.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Communication Definitions Language

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.

(1882 – 1961) politician
Communication Language Situations

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Communication Definitions Fools Language People

His tongue was an unguided missile.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Language

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Vagina?… that sounds like something you call in sick with.

American comedian & television host
Communication Health Language

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

If I seem out of it tonight, it's 'cause I'm hooked on phonics.

comedian
Communication Drugs Language

Knock on wood is a saying for good luck. I think that started when someone went to someone's door to see if someone was home. “I hope Joe's home, knock on wood!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language