Subject: Communication » Language (Page 10)

So what if I can’t spell Armaggedon? … it’s not the end of the world.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Time

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Communication Ideas Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

My goal in life is to open up a nail salon in Vietnam, where all my workers speak nothing but English.

American-Mexican stand-up comedian & actress
Communication Language Places

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Food/Drink Language

Throwing acid is wrong… in some people’s eyes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

I invented a new word – “plagiarism.”

Communication Language Wordplay

It was strange. The only English words I saw were Sony and Mitsubishi.

American baseball player
Baseball Communication Language Misspokements Sports

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language

Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.

(1941) American writer & humorist
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Sometimes people come up to me and they'll be like, 'In Italy, it's pronounced 'Bir-Bee-Lya’ … and I'm like, 'In America, you're annoying.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Language People Self

Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.

(1936 – ) novelist
Communication Food/Drink Language Things

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Money

Ambidextrous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day; she said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, All right, but we're not going to get much done.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language Situations

We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Language

Congratulation: The civility of envy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Incomprehensible jargon is the hallmark of a profession.

(1919 – 1988) American diplomat & educator
Communication Language Work