Subject: Communication » Language (Page 11)

I keep reading between the lies.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Characteristics Language Lies Truth

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language

I bought a dictionary, and the first thing I did was look up dictionary… it said “you’re an asshole.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Language Reading/Writing

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Marriage

See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Language Work

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Communication Language Wordplay

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Like most comics, I just broke up with my girlfriend… the reason we broke up is because I caught her lying – under another man.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Girlfriends Language Relationships Sex

Craig Bellamy has literally been on fire.

Scottish football player & manager
Communication Language Misspokements

Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

Death Government Language Taxes

Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language Reading/Writing Things

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

Beliefs Communication Language

There's a fine line between hyphenated words…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Eloquence: The art of saying the proper thing and stopping.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Communication Language Speech

Journalists say a thing that they know isn’t true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
Communication Honesty Language Lies Truth

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

Loquacity: A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Conversation Definitions Language Speech