Subject: Communication » Language (Page 13)

To avoid misunderstanding, I’ll stop speaking formal English and just use the binocular.

Communication Language Malaprops

I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Communication Language

If you understand English, press 1; if you do not understand English, press 2.

Communication Language Misspokements

I love going on blind dates because you can stare at their tits. … Some of you are now thinking — “Hey you can’t make fun of the blind…” Watch me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Dating Language Relationships

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Language Reading/Writing Speech

Whenever you hear the word save, it is usually the beginning of an advertisement designed to make you spend money.

Communication Language Money

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Communication England Language Places

What's right is what's left when everything is wrong.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Beliefs Language Opinion

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Appearance Body Language

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Money Wealth

Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity.

Communication Language Lawyers

He would come in and say he changed his mind… which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Intelligence Language Mind

You know what I hate?… Indian givers… no, I take that back.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Communication Language

Profanity: The father tongue.

Communication Definitions Language Speech

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Self