Subject: Communication » Language (Page 13)

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Food/Drink Language

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Language Sports

I always confuse the words exotic and erotic; that made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.

comic, actor, & writer
Communication Language

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Work

To avoid misunderstanding, I’ll stop speaking formal English and just use the binocular.

Communication Language Malaprops

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Communication Ideas Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places

If you understand English, press 1; if you do not understand English, press 2.

Communication Language Misspokements

It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Language

The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly,’ meaning ‘many,’ and the word ‘ticks,’ meaning ‘blood sucking parasites.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Definitions Government Language Politics

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

(1906 – 1965) psychologist & speech pathologist
Communication Language

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

This sign says “IMPROV,” but I had a bad set on Friday night, so yesterday they put an “E” on the end of it.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Communication Language

Holland lies so low they're only saved by being dammed.

(1799 – 1845) English writer
Communication Language Places

Whenever one word or letter can change the entire meaning of a sentence, the probability of an error being made will be in direct proportion to the embarrassment it will cause.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Speech

Oh good, now he’ll be bi-ignorant.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Communication Insults Intelligence Language

Oral contraceptive: The word "no."

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Language Sex

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language