Subject: Communication » Language (Page 15)

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Language Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Poets are literal-minded men who will squeeze a word till it hurts.

(1892 – 1982) American writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Language

When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to Bernard Shaw.

(1944 – ) English writer & broadcaster
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live;” it shows he did not know how to tell them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Language Lies

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me?

comedian, commentator, radio host, reporter & writer
Computers Language Sex Things

What’s another word for Thesaurus?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Like most comics, I just broke up with my girlfriend… the reason we broke up is because I caught her lying – under another man.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Girlfriends Language Relationships Sex

Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Communication Language

Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Mistakes People

German in the most extravagantly ugly language – it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

(1937 – 1996) English cartoonist, satirist, comedian & actor
Communication Insults Language

She was another of his near Mrs.

Communication Language Marriage Relationships Wordplay

Exaggeration: Formal term for a collection of fishermen (i.e. an exaggeration of anglers).

Activities Definitions Language

Interpreter: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter’s advantage for the other to have said.

Communication Definitions Language

[Punter] Bill Bradley kicks them so high and so short you can't run them back; you have to fair catch every one. Us coaches call that the punt of no return.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Language Sports

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Government Language Politics

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Self

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Communication Language Malaprops