Subject: Communication » Language (Page 2)

Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.

(1936 – ) novelist

It‘s my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

(1892 – 1965) English physicist

Abbreviation: An inordinately long word in light of its meaning.

If you understand English, press 1; if you do not understand English, press 2.

In my youth there were words you couldn’t say in front of a girl; now you can’t say ‘girl.'

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

If something is 1.0, you don't need to say, 'point oh.'

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

He would come in and say he changed his mind… which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus; on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician

The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have – like, for example, 'beef.'

(1960 – ) American comedian

Plagiarize: To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Martyr: One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director

I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet