Subject: Communication » Language (Page 3)

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.

web cartoonist (Sheldon)
Communication Language

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian
America Communication Language People Self

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Happiness Language People

Our language is funny – a fat chance and slim chance are the same thing.

Communication Language

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

George Moore wrote excellent English until he discovered grammar.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Language Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Women should be obscene and not heard.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Language Speech Women

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

Journalists say a thing that they know isn’t true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
Communication Honesty Language Lies Truth

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus; on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Government Language Politics

The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have – like, for example, 'beef.'

(1960 – ) American comedian
Communication Definitions Food/Drink Language

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

Beliefs Communication Language

I keep reading between the lies.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Characteristics Language Lies Truth

I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Communication Language

I will not go down to posterity talking bad grammar.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Language Last words

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Food/Drink Language