Subject: Communication » Language (Page 5)

It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Language

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Language

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

Definitions Language

‘Finger Puppet’ sounds OK as a noun.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Nothing risqué, nothing gained.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Characteristics Language Sex

Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.

Communication Language Proverbs

I bought a dictionary, and the first thing I did was look up dictionary… it said “you’re an asshole.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Language Reading/Writing

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Animals Communication Language

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Epigram: A wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Definitions Language

If you understand English, press 1; if you do not understand English, press 2.

Communication Language Misspokements

Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team;" there is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer & television producer
Communication Language

Don't abbrev.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Communication Ideas Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.

web cartoonist (Sheldon)
Communication Language

The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have – like, for example, 'beef.'

(1960 – ) American comedian
Communication Definitions Food/Drink Language