Subject: Communication » Language (Page 7)

All phone calls are obscene.

American author
Communication Language

Verbs has to agree with their subject.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly,’ meaning ‘many,’ and the word ‘ticks,’ meaning ‘blood sucking parasites.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Definitions Government Language Politics

The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

(1947 – ) novelist, screenwriter
Communication Language Reading/Writing Things

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Time

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Communication Language Science/Weather

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Speech Success

I like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Communication Language

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Government Language Politics

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Things

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, “A truck!”

(1956 – ) American comedian
Communication Death Family Language Last words

Martyr: One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language

My teacher used to say I wasn't very observant… to be honest, that was her opinion.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

comedian
Communication Food/Drink Language

Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name… DJ Abraham Lincoln.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

Don't use no double negatives.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Communication Entertainment Language Television