Subject: Communication » Language (Page 7)

Why is the alphabet in that order?… is it because of that song?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Aardvark: In the beginning was the word. And the word was ‘Aardvark.’

Communication Definitions Language

She was a bilingual illiterate… she couldn't read in two different languages.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

Language Murphy’s Laws

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.

(1882 – 1961) politician
Communication Language Situations

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a (newspaper) column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.

Anger Characteristics Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’… you probably saw our posters.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Situations

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

(1906 – 1965) psychologist & speech pathologist
Communication Language

My goal in life is to open up a nail salon in Vietnam, where all my workers speak nothing but English.

American-Mexican stand-up comedian & actress
Communication Language Places

Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

Death Government Language Taxes

First triple I ever had.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Communication Language Sports

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

(1623 – 1662) French mathematician & physicist
Communication Language

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Communication Language

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language Money

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language

I don't speak German, he don't speak English, and I think I just agreed to marry his daughter.

American football player & coach
Communication Football Language Sports

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Intelligence Language Self

I don't want to brag, but I do speak Pig Latin; I mean, I'm not fluent, but I'm sure if I ever went there, I could get by.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Communication Language Places Speech