Subject: Communication » Language (Page 7)

I, of course, don’t have an accent; this is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.

web cartoonist (Sheldon)
Communication Language

English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication England Language Places

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Democracy Language Speech

2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2; that's why 2 was created.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Language Sports

Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team;" there is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer & television producer
Communication Language

Don't use no double negatives.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Before the invention of the alphabet, filing was impossible… or very easy.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

Clairvoyant: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I think it would be really confusing if you’re performing an abortion and somebody runs in and says, “Abort! Abort!”

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language Situations

Avant-garde? … That’s French for bullshit.

(1940 – 1980) English rock musician, singer & songwriter
Communication Language

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

Ways to Relieve Stress #10: Make up a language and ask people for directions.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Emotions Language

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Life