Subject: Communication » Language (Page 9)

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Language

The word 'spermicide' sounds like something sperms would do as a last resort; 'I'm not going out there anymore. I can't take it.'

stand-up comedian & actor
Language Science/Weather

There are many inside dopes in politics and government.

Fools Government Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws Politics

A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name… DJ Abraham Lincoln.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Marriage

2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2; that's why 2 was created.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language

Rhetoric: Language in a dress suit.

Definitions Language

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language Reading/Writing

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Communication England Language Places

I don't speak German, he don't speak English, and I think I just agreed to marry his daughter.

American football player & coach
Communication Football Language Sports

Check to see if you any words out.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian
America Communication Language People Self

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Communication Eating Language People Speech

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

You can say ‘Thanks,’ and you can say ‘Thanks a Million’ – but any number in between? … uhuh.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Communication Health Language Reading/Writing

Misnomer: The right name for the wrong word.

Communication Definitions Language

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Language Reading/Writing

Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing