Subject: Communication » Language (Page 9)

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Mercy: An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Interviewer: You’ve been accused of vulgarity.
Brooks: Bullshit!

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Communication Language

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

It was strange. The only English words I saw were Sony and Mitsubishi.

American baseball player
Baseball Communication Language Misspokements Sports

To see him fumbling with our rich and delicate English is like seeing a Sevres vase in the hands of a chimpanzee.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Communication Insults Language

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Animals Communication Language

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me?

comedian, commentator, radio host, reporter & writer
Computers Language Sex Things

The original Mickey Mouse cartoon was in Mouse, with English subtitles.

comedian
Communication Entertainment Language

A fly was very close to being called a “land,” cause that's what they do half the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Communication Language

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Facts Language Science/Weather

I have been called too vague by you know who… but you know the old saying…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

My goal in life is to open up a nail salon in Vietnam, where all my workers speak nothing but English.

American-Mexican stand-up comedian & actress
Communication Language Places

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

Today I held the elevator door open for a spastic… sorry that’s an inappropriate word for this site, I meant ‘lift.’

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

[Punter] Bill Bradley kicks them so high and so short you can't run them back; you have to fair catch every one. Us coaches call that the punt of no return.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Language Sports