Subject: Communication (Page 16)

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

Carp in denim – There's a fish in my pants!

Communication

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech Time

It takes a real talent to be able to apologize in a manner that makes the offended person feel guilty.

Characteristics Communication

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Language Men People Women

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Intelligence Speech Wisdom

A beginning, a muddle, and an end.

(1922 – 1985) English poet & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

Men's tonsils, please.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

A fly was very close to being called a “land,” cause that's what they do half the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Communication Language

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Communication Language

Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.

(1940 – 2007) British journalist, art critic & author
Communication Sex

Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Why should I talk to you?… I've just been talking to your boss.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Communication Death God

Who remembers when X Factor was just Roman suncream?

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

A neurotic can perfectly well be a literary genius, but his greatest danger is always that he will not recognize when he is dull.

(1917 – 2010) American lawyer, novelist, historian & essayist
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

I can read minds but, it’s pointless cause I’m illiterate.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things Wordplay

They inculcate the morals of a whore and the manners of a dancing master.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Communication Reviews/Criticism

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Speech