Subject: Communication (Page 17)

There are two professions that one can be hired with little experience: one is prostitution, the other is sportscasting, and too frequently, they become the same.

(1918 – 1995) American sports journalist & television commentator
Communication

Parents are embarrassed when their children tell lies, and even more embarrassed when they tell the truth.

Children Communication Family Honesty Lies Speech Truth

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication

It would be hard to be friends with Stephen Hawking because Stephen Hawking, you know, sounds like a robot and if you phoned him and he answered, you'd be like, 'Oh great, got the machine again' – and hang up.

Canadian comedian & actor
Communication Situations Speech

The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.

(1895 – 1985) British author & classical scholar
Communication Reading/Writing Success

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.

(1919 – 2010 ) England author
Communication Insults Places Reading/Writing

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Communication Definitions Fools Language People

She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Alcohol Beer Communication Men Sex Speech

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

Incest is relatively boring.

Family Sex Wordplay

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Communication Reading/Writing Religion

My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication Speech

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

My neighbors don’t like it when I talk to my plants… I use a megaphone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue that contains the article, story or installment you were most anxious to read.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.

web cartoonist (Sheldon)
Communication Language

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Gentlemen prefer bonds.

(1855 – 1937) American lawyer, judge, banker & Secretary of Treasury
Communication Wordplay

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication Death Hair Time