Subject: Communication (Page 2)

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

American actor & comedian
Food/Drink Sex Speech Women

Too often the strong silent man is silent because he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has remained silent.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Communication Insults Speech

We get it, poets: Things are like other things.


Communication Reading/Writing

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Books Communication Reading/Writing

When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.

Communication Problems

I’m the lady who works at Paramount all day… and Fox all night.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books Communication Memory Reading/Writing

Parents are embarrassed when their children tell lies, and even more embarrassed when they tell the truth.

Children Communication Family Honesty Lies Speech Truth

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Language Men People Women

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication

Take my wife… please!

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Wives Wordplay

There are two professions that one can be hired with little experience: one is prostitution, the other is sportscasting, and too frequently, they become the same.

(1918 – 1995) American sports journalist & television commentator
Communication

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Communication Emotions Happiness Intelligence Stupidity

Whenever you hear the word save, it is usually the beginning of an advertisement designed to make you spend money.

Communication Language Money

Ordering a man to write a poem is like commanding a pregnant woman to give birth to a red-headed child.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Communication Men People Reading/Writing Women

Yeah, I tried to see it from your point of view, but I couldn’t get my head that far up my ass.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Communication Insults

The closer you are to a news story, the more inaccurate the coverage appears to be.

Communication

Memos to Shitty People

Book Titles Communication

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Emotions Situations

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language Money

We did not conceive it possible that even Mr. Lincoln would produce a paper so slipshod, so loose-joined, so puerile, not alone in literary construction, but in its ideas, its sentiments, its grasp.

Reviews/Criticism Speech