Subject: Communication (Page 20)

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Emotions Speech

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Insults Opinion

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; it was riveting.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

The triumph of sugar over diabetes.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Communication Reading/Writing

I’m not worried about the Third World War… that’s the Third World’s problem.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict War Wordplay

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.

(1919 – 2010 ) England author
Communication Insults Places Reading/Writing

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Places

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me; just the other night she called me from a hotel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Sex Speech

One could not even dignify him with the name of a stuffed shirt; he was simply a hole on the air.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Communication Insults

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody …”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

Foreword: An author’s apology.

Books Definitions

Parents are embarrassed when their children tell lies, and even more embarrassed when they tell the truth.

Children Communication Family Honesty Lies Speech Truth

Ya better keep a civilian tongue in your head.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops Speech

I just did a show at a country and western bar, and – this is true – I had been onstage, like, a minute and a half when I heard: 'Never come here again!' … and I thought, 'Oh my gosh, did I just say that out loud?'

stand-up comedian
Communication Entertainment Speech

director I spent four years in college but I didn’t learn a thing; i was really my own fault… I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.

(1979 – ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Communication Education Wordplay

Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language Reading/Writing