Subject: Communication (Page 21)

Listening to a speech by Chamberlain is like paying a visit to Woolworth's; everything in its place and nothing above sixpence.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults Speech

I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Communication Death Wordplay

What's right is what's left when everything is wrong.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Beliefs Language Opinion

The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Insults Speech

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer.

(1922 – 2010) American writer & magazine editor
Communication

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

Ya better keep a civilian tongue in your head.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops Speech

The closer you are to a news story, the more inaccurate the coverage appears to be.

Communication

Writing comes more easily if you have something to say.

(1880 – 1957) Polish-Jewish novelist, dramatist & essayist
Communication Reading/Writing

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Entertainment Music

The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Entertainment Opinion

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be and when I called someone they went “Aaaaahhhh…”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things

Our customer's paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Children Communication Misspokements Mothers

Free Verse: Verse written without rhyme or reason.

Definitions Reading/Writing

You can say ‘Thanks,’ and you can say ‘Thanks a Million’ – but any number in between? … uhuh.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

I had a job drilling holes for water… it was well, boring.


Communication Wordplay

All of ‘em, any of ‘em that have been in front of me over all these years.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Communication Misspokements

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of wet toilet paper.

(1938 – ) film critic & former television co-host
Reviews/Criticism Speech