Subject: Communication (Page 24)

A biography is a book that is usually written about a dead person because it is so unlike him when he was alive.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

Today’s subliminal thought is: …

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Communication Education Learning Places Reading/Writing

I, of course, don’t have an accent; this is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.


Communication Language

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Communication Reading/Writing

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Entertainment Music

No self-respecting fish would want to be wrapped in a [Rupert] Murdoch newspaper.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.

(1887 – 1964) British actor, writer & theater director
Communication Language Speech

Murder is a crime – describing murder is not; sex is not a crime – describing sex is.

(1917 – 1999) American sexologist
Communication Conflict Crime Language Reading/Writing

On the other hand… you have different fingers.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Communication Language

Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.


Communication Speech

In Australia, not reading poetry is the national pastime.

(1905 – 1978) American author of children’s books & poetry
Communication People Places Reading/Writing

Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Reading/Writing

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Children Family Sex Wordplay

Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for that rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge.

(1931–1994) American journalist
Communication Reading/Writing

I stayed in a really old hotel last night; they sent me a wake-up letter.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations

Its important to use apostrophe's right.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Reading/Writing

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Language Men People Sex Women

When angry count four; when very angry, swear.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Emotions Speech