Subject: Communication (Page 25)

He doesn't remember any silent days in motion pictures – the director always yelled.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Entertainment Film Speech

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

I’m all in favor of free expression provided it’s kept rigidly under control.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Communication

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Conversation Speech

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble… bring your own book… I haven't written one yet.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Books Communication

What's the opposite of opposite?

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Communication Wordplay

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

And don't use conjunctions to start sentences.

Communication Language Reading/Writing

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

In the first movement alone, I took note of six pregnancies and at least four miscarriages.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Communication Music Reviews/Criticism

Oral contraceptive: The word "no."

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Language Sex

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.

(1941) American writer & humorist
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Words must be weighed, not counted.

Communication

Another term for a balloon is a bad breath holder.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

She was a bilingual illiterate… she couldn't read in two different languages.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Death Exaggerations

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Reading/Writing Success