Subject: Communication (Page 28)

If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Art Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress.

(1923 – ) American journalist & gossip columnist
Communication Speech

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.”

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Communication Occupations Work

Spontaneous speeches are seldom worth the paper they are written on.

(1891 – 1957) English comedian, actor, producer & film director
Communication Speech

Boy, those French… they have a different word for everything!

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Language

Interesting: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Communication Definitions Speech

‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.’

(Daniel Barker) British comedian, voice-artist & actor
Communication Occupations Speech Work

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Elections/Voting Government Misspokements Speech

When people ask me what sign I was born under, I say "I'm not certain, but it could have been the one that says 'Dining Car in opposite direction'."

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Communication People Self

Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often referred to as the ‘Now They Tell Me' Law)

Communication Murphy’s Laws

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Language Reading/Writing

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Communication

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.

(1881 – 1958) English novelist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Communication Language Truth

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Pulled my groin the other day – for about 20 minutes.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Activities Language Sex

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

What's that up the road? … a head?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Animals Communication Conversation Speech

Honeymoon: The morning after the knot before.

Communication Definitions Marriage