Subject: Communication (Page 3)

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.

Communication Definitions

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Communication Speech

Alphabet: A toy for children found in books, blocks, pictures, and some soup.

Communication Definitions Language

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Life

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.


Communication Reading/Writing

If you want your name spelled wrong, die.

Communication Death Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

What orators lack in depth they make up for in length.

Communication Speech

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.


Communication Reading/Writing

Youth is stranger than fiction.

writer
Children Family Wordplay

Life is fraught with opportunities to keep your mouth shut.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Speech

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Children Family Speech Young

A chrysanthemum by any other name would be easier to spell.

author
Communication Language Wordplay

As my mother always says, “If you have to swear to get laughs, then you’re obviously a c**t.”

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Communication Emotions Laughter Speech

President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003… President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Books Communication Reading/Writing

President Bush’s speech writer is leaving the administration; his last words were, "Me go now."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Speech

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

The more boring and out-of-date the magazines in the waiting room, the longer you will have to wait for your scheduled appointment.

Health Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Time

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Communication Speech