Subject: Communication (Page 30)

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2×4 and a box of 3×5′s and the clerk said, “ten-four.”


Activities Communication Language Shopping

Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication People Places

The four most beautiful words in our common language: “I told you so.”

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Children Communication Family Mothers

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.

(1882 – 1961) politician
Communication Language Situations

If the converse of a statement is absurd, the original statement is an insult to the intelligence and should never have been said.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll never be asked to speak again.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Intelligence Speech

I'm looking for loopholes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Beliefs Reading/Writing Religion

I got a new job stitching shoes; it was so-so.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Occupations Work

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Intelligence Wisdom

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

Congratulation: The civility of envy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I see cards that say ‘Get Well Soon’ … F**k that, get well now!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Health

Why should I give my readers bad lines of my own when good ones of other people’s are so plenty?

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication

Is there another word for synonym?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

As through this world I've wandered I've seen lots of funny men; some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen.

(1912 – 1967) American singer-songwriter & folk musician
Communication Conflict Crime Reading/Writing

Why is it that when anything goes without saying, it never does?

writer
Communication Speech

The difference between fiction and reality… fiction has to make sense.

(1947 – ) American author
Books Communication