Subject: Communication (Page 31)

You can wait here in the sitting room, or you can sit here in the waiting room.

American comedy troupe
Communication Wordplay

If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist
Communication Reading/Writing Time

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions

If something is 1.0, you don't need to say, 'point oh.'

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

“Good morning” is a contradiction of terms.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)
Communication Language

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Speech

Hou know what always captures my eye… short people with umbrellas.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
England Insults Places Speech

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.

(1900 – 1986) American teacher & translator
Books Reviews/Criticism

Dependent: Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

The quality of debate [in the House of Lords] is pretty high – and it is, I think, good evidence of life after death.

(1903 – 1998) English clergyman
Communication Speech

Those who abhor history are compelled to rewrite it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Communication History Reading/Writing Time

Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Men People Science/Weather Women

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Democracy Language Speech

I deserve respect for the things I did not do.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately

Corollary: Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.

(1936 – ) novelist
Communication Food/Drink Language Things

Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication Problems Situations Wordplay