Subject: Communication (Page 33)

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Money Speech

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

I had a paper route when I was a kid and I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses… or two dumpsters.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Work

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

My fellow astronauts…

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Communication Individuals People

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Law People Speech

Democracy means government by discussion but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Communication Democracy Government Speech

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

When all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Communication Language Speech

Ordering a man to write a poem is like commanding a pregnant woman to give birth to a red-headed child.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Communication Men People Reading/Writing Women

I can take any amount of criticism so long as it is unqualified praise.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication People Self

They stayed away in droves.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Speech

She went into the hospital after being bitten by a spider in a bathing suit.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Language Misspokements

Let me ask you… would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Activities Communication Drugs Language

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

What can I say about Milton Berle that he already hasn't said himself?

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics Opinion Speech