Subject: Communication (Page 34)

I think one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time is the jackhammer.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Things

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Communication Men Speech Women

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Books Communication Death Reading/Writing

A dialogue is a good monologue spoiled by somebody else talking.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Communication Conversation Speech

You can say ‘Thanks,’ and you can say ‘Thanks a Million’ – but any number in between? … uhuh.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Men can say things in stores women can't believe like, "but I already have a pair of black pants.”

(1952 – ) comedian
Men People Shopping Speech Women

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Reading/Writing Things

My one claim to originality among Irishmen is that I never made a speech.

(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist
Communication Places Speech

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice; for ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Communication Family Fathers Killing Mothers Speech

Another term for a balloon is a bad breath holder.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Even those who call Mr. Faulkner our greatest literary sadist do not fully appreciate him, for it is not merely his characters who have to run the gauntlet but also his readers.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Law People Speech

Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Books Communication

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

In my youth there were words you couldn’t say in front of a girl; now you can’t say ‘girl.'

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication Language Speech

I wish my first spoken word was 'Quote' so I could make my last word 'Unquote'.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Silence: Having nothing to say and saying it.

Communication Definitions Situations Speech

I am told that I talk in shorthand and then smudge it.

(1892 – 1973) English writer
Communication Speech

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, Creep.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Communication

I will not go down in posterity talking bad grammar.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Reading/Writing