Subject: Communication (Page 36)

My goal in life is to open up a nail salon in Vietnam, where all my workers speak nothing but English.

American-Mexican stand-up comedian & actress
Communication Language Places

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Communication God Reading/Writing

Misnomer: The right name for the wrong word.

Communication Definitions Language

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

(1928 - ) American pianist, writer, composer & music producer
Communication Language

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels; I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Books Insults Reviews/Criticism

I was in a book store and saw a French looking girl, she was bi-illterate… she couldn’t read in two languages.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

Consolation: The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Ever notice that George Bush doesn't speak when Dick Cheney is drinking water?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication People

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.

(1844 – 1912) Scottish poet, novelist & literary critic
Communication Intelligence Science/Weather

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Beliefs Characteristics Communication Lies Truth

You're just wasting your breath and that's no great loss either!

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Communication Insults

Who’s cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Intelligence Language

I'm writing a book… I have all the page numbers down, now I just have to fill in the rest.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Communication History Murphy’s Laws Speech

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Intelligence Language Self

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Language Reading/Writing Speech

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations

The loss of life will be irreplaceable.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

In Australia, not reading poetry is the national pastime.

(1905 – 1978) American author of children’s books & poetry
Communication People Places Reading/Writing