Subject: Communication (Page 38)

An intelligent person can make a dumber statement than an idiot. The idiot is limited to his imbecility.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Language Reading/Writing

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Communication England Language Places

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Speech Success

1. Never use one word when a dozen will suffice.
2. If it can be understood, it's not finished yet.
3. Never be the first to do anything.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws

director I spent four years in college but I didn’t learn a thing; i was really my own fault… I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.

(1979 – ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Communication Education Wordplay

I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Conversation Entertainment Television

In no time, it will be a forgotten memory.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Memory Misspokements Speech Time

I will not go down to posterity talking bad grammar.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Language Last words

I quit my job at the helium gas factory – I didn’t like being spoken to in that voice.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Miscellaneous Speech

Wal-mart… do they like make walls there?

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Communication Misspokements Speech

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy – give one and take ten.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Situations

My friend has a baby; I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

The musician who invented Swing ought to.

Communication Entertainment Music

What greater service could I have performed for German literature than that I didn’t bother with it?


Books Communication

Talk is cheap – except when Congress does it.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Communication Congress Frugal Government Money Speech

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way round.

(1935 – ) British author
Books Children Communication Family Life Reading/Writing Sex

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

Spent the last 3 days, alone, trying to learn escapology… I need to get out more.

(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Language Politicians

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language