Subject: Communication (Page 39)

Reoriented: Sent back to China.

Definitions Wordplay

She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal… Antonio.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Insults Opinion

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication Wordplay

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Insults Speech

Memos to Shitty People

Book Titles Communication

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Communication Government

I love going on blind dates because you can stare at their tits. … Some of you are now thinking — “Hey you can’t make fun of the blind…” Watch me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Dating Language Relationships

Don't abbrev.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Nothing but old fags and cabbage-stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.

(1885 – 1930) English novelist, poet, playwright, essayist, literary critic & painter
Communication Insults

We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Language

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager; I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication

There's a fine line between hyphenated words…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Communication England Language Places

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language

I am not going to speak much, otherwise I’ll again say something.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Communication Misspokements Speech