Subject: Communication (Page 39)

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

Women don't want to hear what you think; women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication People Speech Women

A best seller was a book which somehow sold well simply because it was selling well.

(1914 – ) historian
Books Communication Reading/Writing Success

I'm looking for loopholes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Beliefs Reading/Writing Religion

Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live;” it shows he did not know how to tell them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Language Lies

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Law People Speech

Obesity is really widespread.

Appearance Fat Wordplay

Never tell them what you wouldn't do.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Generally speaking, my wife is generally speaking.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books Communication Memory Reading/Writing

Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Communication Definitions

I went to a Pretenders gig; it was a tribute act.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

Beliefs Communication Language

If there is a wrong thing to say, one will.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Never argue with a man who buys his ink by the barrel.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Situations

A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say “bye” 300 times.

American comedian
Communication

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books Communication Reading/Writing

I stayed in a really old hotel last night; they sent me a wake-up letter.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Communication Science/Weather

I never mind my wife having the last word; in fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Take my wife… please!

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Wives Wordplay