Subject: Communication (Page 40)

I haven't spoken to my wife in years; I didn't want to interrupt her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

The politician is an acrobat; he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.

(1862 – 1923) French writer & politician
Communication Government Politicians

Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? … I don't know and I don't care.

(1929 – 2009) American author, columnist & journalist
Communication Conversation Speech

I've just spent an hour talking to Tallulah for a few minutes.

(1897 – 1961) American actor
Communication Insults

I never thought you could win a Pulitzer just for quoting Tommy Lasorda correctly.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Communication People Reading/Writing Self Sports

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Speech

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Speech Time

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Communication Language Wordplay

A great zircon in the diadem of American literature.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Money Speech

My uncle was crushed by a piano; his funeral was very low key.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Death Language

They told me how Mr Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Insults Reading/Writing

The surprising thing about this paper is that a man who could write it would.

(1885 – 1977) English mathematician
Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be living.

comedian
Communication Death Health Language

I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't; so I grew hair under my arms instead.

stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Communication Hair Speech

She was just a passing fiancée.

Communication Wordplay

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

Communication Reading/Writing Taxes

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning

Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things Wordplay