Subject: Communication (Page 45)

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager; I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication

Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication

A poem is no place for an idea.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Communication Ideas Intelligence Reading/Writing

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Things

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is “cheval,” and everything else follows in the same way.

(1922 – 1990) American computer scientist
Communication Language

American Language: English run over by a musical comedy.

Communication Definitions

Flatterer: one who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Characteristics Communication People Speech

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Communication Reading/Writing

Satire is focused bitterness.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Communication Language

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

The word 'spermicide' sounds like something sperms would do as a last resort; 'I'm not going out there anymore. I can't take it.'

stand-up comedian & actor
Language Science/Weather

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

(1955– ) writer & screenwriter
Conversation Men People Sex Women

The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Communication Speech

Consolation: The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Age Characteristics Reading/Writing

The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.

Spanish professional golfer
Communication Speech Sports

She was another of his near Mrs.

Communication Language Marriage Relationships Wordplay

Plagiarism: Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft.

Definitions Ideas Reading/Writing

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Wordplay