Subject: Communication (Page 46)

Abstinence makes the heart go wander.

Sex Wordplay

I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just never… lure them into my car; no, I'm kidding… I don’t have a license.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Children Communication Family Wordplay

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Communication Money

To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Reading/Writing

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Communication Language

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Communication Men Speech Women

What’s interesting about sports writers is that they don’t know how to play sports, and a lot of them don’t know how to write.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.

(1900 – 1986) American teacher & translator
Books Reviews/Criticism

Did you ever say something and wish you could take it back?… something like, 'Yeah, I'm a Jew, what are you skinheads going to do about it?'

comedian
Communication Speech

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.

(1892 – 1972) American comedian, dancer & composer
Emotions Sex Wordplay

Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Conversation Speech

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Just give me a shave… I haven’t time to listen to a haircut.

Communication Speech Time

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Appearance Body Books Communication People Reading/Writing Women

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Communication Language