Subject: Communication (Page 46)

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Books Communication Self

An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.

(1689 – 1755) French philosopher & political commentator
Books Communication Fools Reading/Writing

NOKIA – connocting poopie [sic]

Communication Translations

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste; when I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Wordplay

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Communication People Problems

It‘s my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication Language

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Money Reading/Writing

As our President said in his renegurial address.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops Speech

When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.

Communication Problems

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old Reading/Writing

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

He could sell socks to a rooster.

Communication Expressions

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today… unfortunately, it’s only for victims.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

I would have answered your letter sooner, but you didn’t send one.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Communication Reading/Writing

You say ‘erbs, and we say Herbs… because there’s a f**king ‘H’ in it!

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Language

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Communication Language

Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you… but I’m not going to.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication Conversation TV/Movie Quotes

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

It’s hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Wordplay

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

I deserve respect for the things I did not do.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech