Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Communication
(Page 49)
Italian Without Words
Book Titles
Communication
Language
Italian
Too often, people who want to offer sound advice give more sound than advice!
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
Mad
, an American humor magazine
Communication
Intelligence
Speech
Advice
I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.
Stewart Francis
Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Language
Work
Pantomime
Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is “cheval,” and everything else follows in the same way.
Alan J. Perlis
(1922 – 1990) American computer scientist
Communication
Language
Learning French
Editor: The fellow who makes a long story short.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Reading/Writing
Editor
I recently gave a talk to a group of backpackers; they were on the edge of their seats.
Stewart Francis
Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Language
Backpackers
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Peter Kay
(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication
Wordplay
Quizzes
An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.
Mike Barfield
British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Books
Communication
Encyclopedias
If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.
Soupy Sales
(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Life
Wordplay
You ever read a book that changed your life? … me neither.
Jim Gaffigan
(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Books
Communication
Charles Dickens, dead, writes more than [American playwright] Marc Connelly alive.
George S. Kaufman
(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Communication
Reading/Writing
Reviews/Criticism
After Charles Dickens' “Life of Our Lord” was published posthumously
I want to take one of those English as a Second Language courses – just go in and blow everybody away on the first day.
Craig Anton
(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication
Language
English
My aunt used to say, ‘What you can’t see, can’t hurt you’… well, she died of radiation poisoning a few months back.
Harry Hill
(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Communication
Sayings
Avant-garde? … That’s French for bullshit.
John Lennon
(1940 – 1980) English rock musician, singer & songwriter
Communication
Language
Avant-garde
How long is it polite to pretend to continue to listen to someone after they’ve revealed they’ve got a boyfriend?
Russell Brand
(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics
Communication
Boyfriends
Listen
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs
Communication
Opinion
Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.
John le Carré
(David John Moore Cornwell) (1931 – ) British author
Books
Communication
Entertainment
Film
Children always take the line of most persistence.
Marcelene Cox
writer
Children
Family
Wordplay
The greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont.
Clarence Darrow
(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Communication
Places
Criticism
On Calvin Coolidge
Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.
Anonymous
Communication
Speech
Foresight
Politicians who complain about the media are like ships’ captains who complain about the sea.
Enoch Powell
(1912 – 1998) British politician
Communication
Government
Politicians
Media
Page 49 of 86
« First
« Previous
47
48
49
50
51
Next »
Last »