Subject: Communication (Page 5)

There's a fine line between hyphenated words…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar: the barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication

Editor: The fellow who makes a long story short.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Never read any book in which the author’s name appears in gold or silver on the cover.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Names were not so much dropped as thrown in a perpetual game of catch.

(1908 – 1992) English actor
Communication

My wife and I had words, but I never got to use mine.

Jim Jordan (1896 – 1988) American radio comedian (of Fibber McGee & Molly)
Communication Marriage Speech

Omen: A sign that something will happen if nothing happens.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue that contains the article, story or installment you were most anxious to read.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

What kind of tattoo would a librarian get?… ‘Books kick ass’?

American comedian
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Every English poet should master the rules of grammar before he attempts to bend or break them.

(1895 – 1985) British author & classical scholar
Communication Reading/Writing

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

Who’s cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Intelligence Language

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

As our President said in his renegurial address.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops Speech

Journalism consists in buying white paper at two cents a pound and selling it at ten cents a pound.

(1819 – 1897) American journalist, author & senior government official
Communication

[Critics] search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Communication Occupations Work

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Communication

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Self Wordplay

No man ever listened himself out of a job.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Communication