Subject: Communication (Page 50)

Check to see if you any words out.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia; let them walk to school like I did!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Books Children Yogi-isms

I don't speak German, he don't speak English, and I think I just agreed to marry his daughter.

American football player & coach
Communication Football Language Sports

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Reading/Writing Things

You might be a redneck if… your child’s first words are “Attention Kmart shoppers!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children Family People Rednecks Speech

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Conversation Speech

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Communication Insults Murphy’s Laws

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

If that kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Speech TV/Movie Quotes

Pulled my groin the other day – for about 20 minutes.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Activities Language Sex

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial-a-lama.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus; on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Government Language Politics

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Communication Language

Incomprehensible jargon is the hallmark of a profession.

(1919 – 1988) American diplomat & educator
Communication Language Work

A cure for agoraphobics is just around the corner.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Health Language

If you think communication is all talking, you haven't been listening.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Communication Conversation Speech

You will, Oscar, you will.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Speech

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor
Communication Speech Success

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence People Reading/Writing Stupidity

It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.

(1767 – 1845) 7th U.S. president
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Our customer's paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing