Subject: Communication (Page 50)

The Sun has the class of a polyester shirt and the soul of a Colombian hit-man.

Communication Insults

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk; that will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Alcohol Communication Food/Drink Speech

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

Communication Definitions

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements

I have opinions of my own – strong opinions – but I don’t always agree with them.

(1924 – 2018) 41st U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Opinion Speech

Why do they call that funny little statue a bust when it stops right before the part of the body that it’s named after?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Art Communication Wordplay

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

Alphabet: A toy for children found in books, blocks, pictures, and some soup.

Communication Definitions Language

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

When angry count four; when very angry, swear.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Emotions Speech

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales.

(1942 – 2018) English physicist
Books Communication

Journalism is literature in a hurry.

(1822 – 1888) English writer
Communication Reading/Writing

Book: What they make a movie out of for television.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Books Communication Definitions

Political speeches are like steer horns: a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Government Politics Speech

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Children Communication Family Mothers

She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Communication

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

American comedian
Communication Wordplay

Paradox: Two physicians.

Definitions Doctors Wordplay

If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist
Communication Reading/Writing Time