Subject: Communication (Page 51)

Throwing acid is wrong… in some people’s eyes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

Say what you want about the deaf…

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication People Speech

If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order. If you do write, you'll receive the merchandise before your angry letter reaches its destination.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Shopping

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

(1955 – ) actor & comedian
Age Communication Reading/Writing

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Money Speech

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Things

He was married to an acrobat, but she caught him in the act.

Communication Wordplay

Peeping Tom: A window fan.

Definitions Wordplay

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

Anatomy: The belly of a very small insect.

Definitions Wordplay

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Communication Emotions Love Speech

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Conflict Speech

Kids say the darndest things.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist
Children Family Speech

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Communication

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

I am being frank about myself in this book; I tell of my first mistake on page 850.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Books Communication People Self

If the doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I’d type a little faster.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Communication Reading/Writing

Television has raised writing to a new low.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Entertainment Misspokements Reading/Writing Television

He has left off reading altogether, to the great improvement of his originality.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing