Subject: Communication (Page 53)

Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Science/Weather Wordplay

If you haven’t struck oil in twenty minutes, quit boring.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Health Wordplay

He was married to an acrobat, but she caught him in the act.

Communication Wordplay

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

English As She is Spoke

Book Titles Communication Language

Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Time

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Speech

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Education Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

Foreword: An author’s apology.

Books Definitions

Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

The first prerogative of an artist in any medium is to make a fool of himself.

(1919 – 2001) American film critic
Communication Entertainment

If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster
Communication Reading/Writing

Is ‘tired old cliche’ one?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

It’s hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Wordplay

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

You won't find a single four-letter word in there… I don't go for that bullshit.

(1918 – ) American baseball pitcher
Baseball Books Communication Sports