Subject: Communication (Page 53)

Yeah, I tried to see it from your point of view, but I couldn’t get my head that far up my ass.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Communication Insults

Book: What they make a movie out of for television.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Books Communication Definitions

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

Clairvoyant: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Boy, those French… they have a different word for everything!

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Language

I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.

(1921 – ) former First Lady of the United States & actress
Communication Misspokements Speech

The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Speech

Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.

Children Communication Family Murphy’s Laws Old Speech

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television Wordplay

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.

Communication Definitions

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay

I bought a dictionary, and the first thing I did was look up dictionary… it said “you’re an asshole.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Language Reading/Writing

Avoid alliteration… always.


Communication Reading/Writing

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Reading/Writing

You have to wonder what kind of chemical reactions were taking place inside Walker’s head when he said these things.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Speech Sports

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Communication Dating Relationships Wordplay

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Intelligence Speech

In school I wanted to join the debating team… but someone talked me out of it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.

(85–43 BC) Latin writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech