Subject: Communication (Page 54)

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

(1940 – 1992) English writer
Language Marriage Sex

If I wasn’t talking, I wouldn’t know what to say.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Communication Misspokements Speech

I bought a dictionary, and the first thing I did was look up dictionary… it said “you’re an asshole.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Language Reading/Writing

She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

(1935 – ) British actress, singer & author
Communication

Mercy: An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

A cure for agoraphobics is just around the corner.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Health Language

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Wordplay

Watch out for irregular verbs which has cropped up into our language.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

People say satire is dead; it's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Government Insults

A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment but compose immediately after.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Language

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Characteristics Communication Sex

I dislike arguments of any kind; they are always vulgar, and often convincing.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication

When the Iraq war started … little did George Bush know.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict Intelligence Language

With the newspaper strike on, I wouldn't consider dying.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Communication Death Reading/Writing

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.

(1900 – 1986) American teacher & translator
Books Reviews/Criticism

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Reading/Writing

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales.

(1942 – 2018) English physicist
Books Communication

Propaganda: Patriotism as practiced by our enemies.

Communication Definitions