Subject: Communication (Page 55)

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Three may keep a secret… if two of them are dead.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication People

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Entertainment Family Mothers

Everybody had some antidotes to tell.

Malaprops Speech

Writing comes more easily if you have something to say.

(1880 – 1957) Polish-Jewish novelist, dramatist & essayist
Communication Reading/Writing

Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication Problems Situations Wordplay

Polygamy – the art of  parrot-folding.

comic actor-writer
Communication Definitions Wordplay

Autobiography is now as common as adultery and hardly less reprehensible.

(1924 – 2001) British writer
Books Communication

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Communication Law Speech

Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Books Communication

I am the most spontaneous speaker in the world because every word, every gesture, and every retort has been carefully rehearsed.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Speech

A writer without confidence is like a metaphor without something to compare itself to.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Communication Reading/Writing

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Wordplay

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

(1980 – ) popular singer
Communication Misspokements Speech

The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Children Communication Family Mothers

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Communication Elections/Voting

She was a bilingual illiterate… she couldn't read in two different languages.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Money

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay