Subject: Communication (Page 55)

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Umm, trouble with grammar have I, yes?

Movie character in, Star Wars (Frank Oz)
Communication Language TV/Movie Quotes

It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Communication Speech

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

(1623 – 1662) French mathematician & physicist
Communication Language

I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism; and I have a communications degree.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Communication Misspokements

He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs.

(1910 – 2006) Swedish cartoonist
Communication Past Reading/Writing Time

You might be a redneck if… your child’s first words are “Attention Kmart shoppers!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children Family People Rednecks Speech

Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy – give one and take ten.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Situations

Man invented language to satisfy his inner need to complain.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Characteristics Communication Ideas Language

Is ‘tired old cliche’ one?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order.

(1889 – 1963) French poet, novelist, playwright, artist & filmmaker
Books Communication

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.

Appearance Body Wordplay

Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.


Communication Reading/Writing

Whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Intelligence Speech

Anyone who says, 'You had to be there,' should just not have told you the thing in the first place because it's not funny.

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication Laughter Situations

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Communication Computers Things

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk… ladies, you fake orgasms… we fake listening.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Men People Relationships Women

Oh good, now he’ll be bi-ignorant.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Communication Insults Intelligence Language

There comes a time in every man’s life… and I’ve had many of them.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Communication Death Misspokements Speech Time