Subject: Communication (Page 55)

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.

Communication Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Alice Jane Chandler Webster (1876 – 1916) writer & author
Communication Conversation Insults Speech

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.


Doctors Health Wordplay

Like playing Beethoven on the kazoo.

(1938 – ) English academic, newspaper columnist & author
Communication Reading/Writing

I waited an hour for my starter; so I complained… ‘It's not rocket salad.’

British comedian & actress
Communication Malaprops Wordplay

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Computers Science/Weather Things

My neighbors don’t like it when I talk to my plants… I use a megaphone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg; it seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Beliefs Communication Opinion Speech

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Things

The first prerogative of an artist in any medium is to make a fool of himself.

(1919 – 2001) American film critic
Communication Entertainment

I don't speak Chinese, but I figure if I try, I've got to be saying something.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor, comedian, author & radio personality
Baseball Communication Language

The German asparagus are fabulous.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Food/Drink Places Speech

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

There's always someone willing to disagree with me; but I'm the one who's called controversial.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Communication

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Men People Speech Women

I always confuse the words exotic and erotic; that made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.

comic, actor, & writer
Communication Language

My wife… its difficult to say what she does… she sells seashells on the seashore.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Communication

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought.

Communication Definitions

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Communication Men Speech Women

My theory [is] that modern science was largely conceived of as an answer to the servant problem and that it is generally practiced by those who lack a flair for conversation.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Science/Weather Speech