Subject: Communication (Page 56)

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Marriage Occupations Reading/Writing

Everything you read in the newspapers is absolutely true except for that rare story of which you happen to have firsthand knowledge.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Murphy’s Laws Truth

Don’t say yes until I finish talking.

(1902 – 1979) American film studio executive & producer
Characteristics Communication

She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

(1935 – ) British actress, singer & author
Communication

Plagiarism is the highest form of art just as theft is the highest form of commerce.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication

No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Communication Speech

English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication England Language Places

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

For Muhammad Ali to compose a few words of real poetry would be equal to an intellectual throwing a punch.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

When Mr. Wilbur calls his play ‘Halfway to Hell,’ he underestimates the distance.

(1894 – 1984) theatre critic
Communication Reviews/Criticism

A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Communication Intelligence People Self Speech

I will not go down to posterity talking bad grammar.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Language Last words

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Communication Conversation Speech

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

To eat is human, to digest, divine.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

When people ask me what sign I was born under, I say "I'm not certain, but it could have been the one that says 'Dining Car in opposite direction'."

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Communication People Self

You can wait here in the sitting room, or you can sit here in the waiting room.

American comedy troupe
Communication Wordplay

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money

A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Communication People Speech