Subject: Communication (Page 56)

The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Profanity: The father tongue.

Communication Definitions Language Speech

‘Pessimist’ is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Language Life

If Bing Crosby was great, imagine how good Google Crosby would have been.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Wordplay

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy – give one and take ten.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Situations

I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang; it’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Books Communication

It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Communication Speech

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

Speeches are like babies – easy to conceive but hard to deliver.

Communication Speech

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Communication Language Truth

Medical Insurance: What allows people to be ill at ease.

Wordplay

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

You want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Girlfriends Marriage Relationships Speech

I hope God speaks English; if I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Communication Eating God Language

My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication Speech

Pushing fifty is exercise enough


Activities Age Exercise Wordplay

I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody …”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Appearance Body Books Communication People Reading/Writing Women

Definition: A statement intended to put a word in its place.

Communication Definitions Language

Listening to a speech by Chamberlain is like paying a visit to Woolworth's; everything in its place and nothing above sixpence.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults Speech