Subject: Communication (Page 57)

Some people are widely read – I'm thinly read.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Intelligence People Reading/Writing Self

A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Communication Speech

I will be brief… not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech; he said 'I will be so brief I have already finished,' and he sat down."

Communication Speech

The real reason Milton went blind was to avoid reading unsolicited manuscripts.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Communication Reading/Writing Situations

It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Men People Speech Women

If something is 1.0, you don't need to say, 'point oh.'

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Communication Language Science/Weather

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Communication Exaggerations Language

No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things

Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team;" there is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer & television producer
Communication Language

I am not so think as you drunk I am.

(1884 – 1958) British poet, writer, historian & literary editor
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

Do people in Australia, call the rest of the world, "Up Over"?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Places Speech

You’ve got to give the guy some slack… he’s caught between Iraq and a hard-on.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Situations Wordplay

There's a fine line between hyphenated words…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Language Men People Women

I learned about sex the hard way… from books.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Sex

I’m just preparing my impromptu remarks.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Speech

If there are any of you at the back who do not hear me, please don't raise your hands because I am also nearsighted.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Communication People Self Speech

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Problems