Subject: Communication (Page 58)

I hope God speaks English; if I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Communication Eating God Language

It's from lack of practice.

(1763 – 1855) English poet
Communication

A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say “bye” 300 times.

American comedian
Communication

I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia; let them walk to school like I did!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Books Children Yogi-isms

Writing a book of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Books Communication

I love being a writer; what I can't stand is the paperwork.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Communication Marriage

Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Self

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2×4 and a box of 3×5′s and the clerk said, “ten-four.”


Activities Communication Language Shopping

I married way too young… she was Chinese.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

I will be so brief I have already finished.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter
Communication Speech

A rumor is one thing that gets thicker instead of thinner as it is spread.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Communication

When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Characteristics Communication Problems

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Communication Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal… Antonio.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication

You will, Oscar, you will.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Speech

If Bing Crosby was great, imagine how good Google Crosby would have been.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Wordplay

Never argue with a man who buys his ink by the barrel.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Situations

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Language Men People Sex Women

Reading him is like wading through glue.

(1809 – 1892) Poet Laureate of the United Kingdom
Insults Reading/Writing