Subject: Communication (Page 58)

One of the greatest creations of the human mind is the art of reviewing books without having read them.

(1742 – 1799) German writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Learn to say ‘I don’t know.’ If used when appropriate, it will be often.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Communication

Most people tire of a lecture in ten minutes; clever people can do it in five; sensible people never go to lectures at all.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Communication Speech

Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

(1906 – 1965) psychologist & speech pathologist
Communication Language

The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Insults Speech

There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Communication Intelligence Speech

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Communication Insults Murphy’s Laws

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Will you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Communication Marriage Wordplay

1. Never draw what you can copy.
2. Never copy what you can trace.
3. Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

You know what I hate?… Indian givers… no, I take that back.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Communication Language

Vagina?… that sounds like something you call in sick with.

American comedian & television host
Communication Health Language

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Communication Insults Speech

Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Boxing Money Sports Wordplay

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.

(1924 – ) Canadian writer
Communication People Self

It takes a real talent to be able to apologize in a manner that makes the offended person feel guilty.

Characteristics Communication

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Conversation Speech

My father was a man of few words and I remember him saying to me, “Son…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Family Fathers Speech